Chapter One - Hello Violet

 Chapter One

Hello Violet

June 11, 2015

Today, Sam and I are going to the pool! Amari, Laura and Bobby are going to meet us there. I’ve been preparing all week for today. I’m finally going to jump from the diving board. Hello bravery, Good-Bye fears!

Phone rings

Sam in big black letters pop up on the screen. I answer.

“Hey!” I say with so much joy in my voice

“Hey V!!” It’s such a simple nickname but I like it. “What are you up to?”

“Deciding which bathing suit to wear to the pool.”

“Oh. Listen. Change of plans. Marcus wants us to all go hang out at his place. His parents are out of town, so he’s got the place all to himself.” Sam chuckles.

“Oh, alright. Sounds fun.” In all honesty, I was looking forward to going to the pool. I guess there’s always next time.

Sam and I met in 2010, she was the first friend I made when I moved to Hiram. Sam lost her mom a couple years later and it felt as though she needed me more than ever. For a while she quit talking, I don’t blame her. If it were my mom or dad, I don’t think I’d ever talk again. I can’t even imagine going through something so tragic like that. She’s able to talk about it now but I can tell that it still hurts.

A couple minutes of silence goes by then Sam continues

“Amari and her brother are going to pick me up then we’ll go get you.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Meanwhile, I go downstairs to find my brother Sebastian watching reruns of some old sitcom on tv in the living room while my sister Amaya is playing with her dollhouse dad bought her last time we saw him.

“What are you watching?” I say, curious.

“Jason, don’t pull hair!” Amaya shouts to her dolls

“It’s called, Who Could it Be Now?” Sebastian says looking annoyed at Amaya

“Oh kay?”

“It’s from the 80s”

“I can see that.” Considering the fact that the graphics look as old as my grandma’s typewriter. Either way, I decide to watch a scene from the show. Two men struggling with money decide to move into an apartment together, Mario and Preston. They’re in their living room arguing about money expenses, and suddenly, there’s a knock at the door.

“Who could it be now?” Mario says, as he opens the door to the postal man.

“Got a delivery for, uh, Maria?” The postal delivery guy says.

“You mean, Mario?”

“Yes! Sorry, I could barely make out the handwriting. Anyways, I’m gonna need an autograph.”

“Why? I’m not famous?”

“I was talking about your signature?”

“Oh! Yes.” Mario says, feeling embarrassed as the laugh track cues.

“Who’s it from?” Preston yells from the kitchen.

“Juan.”

“Do what?”

“I said JUAN!” Mario yells. And cue laugh track again. 

I get distracted watching this show when Amaya, thankfully, snaps me back to reality. 

“Wanna play tea party with me?!” Amaya asks me in the cutest voice that makes it so hard to refuse.

“I’m about to go out with some friends, maybe later. Okay?”

“Aww. Okay” Amaya pouts

Knock Knock

My little sister Amaya jumps up saying, “Grandma’s here! Grandma’s here!”

I rush to open the door. “Grandma!” I say, acting surprised.

“There’s my Valeria, looking as beautiful as ever.” Valeria, my birth name. My family are really the only people who still call me Valeria. “My, you’ve grown so much.”

“Thank you, uh, what are you doing here grandma?” I say not trying to come off as rude.

“My place is too big for a little old woman, so your mom and dad said that I could move in here.”

“Really? That’s awesome!” I’m genuinely excited. And I can see by the expressions on Maya’s and Seb’s face, they’re pretty happy about it too.

“Grandma!” Amaya shouts as she runs to give my grandma a hug.

“Hey! Amaya!” Grandma says as she reciprocates Amaya’s excitement.

“Angie. It’s good to see you.” My mom says as she walks into the living room.

“Michelle, always as beautiful as ever.”

“Thank you.” My mom says as she blushes

“I always told Jesse that you were the one.”

Jesse, that’s my dad. His work forces him to spend so much time away from us that we barely get to see him. My mom and my dad met in high school. He used to say that she was his first true love, though he did have other girlfriends before my mom, he said that she was unlike any girl he’d ever met. My dad was an amazing football player; and my mom, as she likes to say, was a nobody. He was Mr. Popular and she still got shocked when people in her grade knew her name. My dad had dreams of going pro, but an accident from his senior year ruined those plans. He used to say, “I had plans for how I wanted my life to be, but God had a plan for how it should be.” My dad tried to look at life through the eyes of God. He used to say, “Nothing happens that God doesn’t allow.” My dad used to say that God allowed him to get injured, to stop playing football, and to, one day, run into the girl that would eventually become his wife. If none of that happened, I wouldn’t be here today. Neither would either of my siblings.

“Oh, Angie.” My mom says, holding her breath “You’ve been such a blessing to this family.”

“And you’ve been a blessing to me and my son.”

My parents have had such an amazing marriage but it didn’t start out that way. Both my mom and my dad needed to find their love in God before they found their love in eachother.

Honk Honk

I peek through the window and I can see Amari, her brother Jamal and Sam pulling up to my house.

“Oh, sorry, I had plans to hang out with some friends today, but we can catch up later. Is that fine?” I say

“Yes, mija. Go on, have fun. Te amo mucho mijita,” My grandma says

“I love you too, grandma!”

“Don’t be home too late, okay?” My mom says

“I know, I know.” I say, annoyed

My grandma gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before I go. 

“Okay, bye.”

“Okay, Be careful”

“I will!” I say as I run out the door.

In the car, Amari is in charge of the music, she’s playing some song by this rapper I don’t recognize.

“Who’s singing this?” I ask

“This upcoming rapper named Rap Lord. This song is called, ‘The Real Me’.” 

“Oh, I don’t like rap much.” I say

“It’s not about the music, it’s about the lyrics, man, listen.”

She turns up the volume and gestures for Sam and me to listen to the lyrics.

I laugh, and I cry, I cuss and I don’t know why.

But this pain that I feel inside

When I wish that I could die

When they leave without Good-Bye

And you’re left just asking why

Cause no one stays to see

The Real Me

“That hits. You know what I mean?” Amari says, bopping her head.

“Uh, yeah.” I say, still not amused.

“What kind of music you listen to? Huh?” Amari asks, annoyed.

“Oh, uh, I like country.” I say, softly.

“Anyways.” Sam cuts in. “What were our plans for the day?”

“First, we eat!” Jamal exclaims. “I’ma die of hunger.”

“Marcus was planning on ordering pizza.” Sam says.

“Mm, I love me some pizza.” Jamal says drooling. “Olives, mushroom and pineapple.”

“Eww” Amari, Sam and I say in disgust. Though, I don’t mind olives or mushrooms, but pineapple? On pizza?

Amari laughs then proceeds to say, “You know you nasty for that. Right?”

“Let a man eat what he wants to eat.” Jamal says playfully.

A few moments later and we’ve finally reached Marcus’ house. We each rush out of Jamal’s car. Jamal and Amari are twins, though Jamal loves to boast about how he’s a couple minutes older. Jamal is roughly 5’6 while Amari is a little shorter. You’d never be able to tell that they were twins if they didn’t mention it so much. Both Jamal and Amari are dark skinned, brown eyes. Jamal having cornrows as his choice of hair style and Amari choosing to have frizzy hair that barely reaches past her shoulders. Jamal and Amari are 15.

Sam is a completely different story. Sam is 14, caucasian. Reddish-Orange type hair that goes straight down and stops at her lower back.. Freckles. And the most beautiful hazel eyes you’d ever seen. Sam is 5’5, and charismatic. She is known for always wearing a jacket in 100 degree weather. I think it’s crazy, but she thinks of it as a fashion choice. Sam looks at everyone like family. She’s strong. After losing her mom, her relationship with her dad went downhill. He barely notices her, or even pays her any attention.

Now for myself. I’m 5'5, white on my mom’s side and Mexican on my dad’s side. So I’m like very light brown. I love school. I see myself as smart, but Sam’s smarter. I love to sing. I love to draw. I love poetry. I have black hair that curls at the tip. Brown eyes. And that’s about it..

Here comes Marcus, and I can see by the look on Sam’s face that she’s ecstatic to see him.

Marcus is what we’d consider a popular kid in our grade. Standing at about 5’7, possibly one of the tallest kids in our grade. Sam gushes over him every time he’s around. Marcus is light brown, fit, brown eyes, the kind of smile that would make any girl feel weak in her knees. Marcus’ dad is the Mayor and his mom works in real estate. So Marcus’ family is pretty loaded. But they’re not like most rich snobs. Marcus’ dad, Mayor Deloera, hosts a Christmas party every year and he helps give families an amazing holiday. 

“Hey guys!” Marcus shouts

“What up, man?” Jamal responds

“Not much, just getting ready to order the pizza.”

“Pineapple?”

“You know it.”

“Yes! I’m starving.”

“You guys are so sick.” Amari says, disgust in her face.

“Why you gotta be such a hater, Mar.” Marcus questions with a grin.

“I ain’t no hater, pineapple just doesn’t belong on pizza.”

“Whatever.” Marcus says acting disappointed. “Let’s go to the cinema room.” Marcus says even though it’s just his basement. His really big, really nice basement.

“Whoa” We all say in unison. 

“This is your basement?” Sam says, in awe.

We’ve been friends with Marcus for a couple years now, but none of us had ever stepped into his house. Marcus didn’t want us feeling like we had less than him. It’s understandable. 

“Cinema room.” Marcus corrects.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“So what movie we gonna watch?” Jamal questions.

“How about “A Walk To Remember?” Amari says

“I’m feeling more like a horror, like Michael, or Jason, or Freddy.”

“We’ll wait until Bobby and Laura show up to decide.” Marcus says.

“They’re probably making out somewhere.” Amari says. We all stare at Amari. “What? It’s true.”

Marcus chuckles then proceeds to say, “Anyways, I was thinking, maybe we can eat, watch a movie then go hang out in the pool. I figured since you blew off going to the pool to hang out here, maybe I can allow you into mine.”

We all agree then we hear voices coming from outside

“It’s Bobby and Laura.” Marcus says.

We all crowd around the door as Bobby and Laura walk in.

Bobby and Marcus have been the best of friends since their preschool days, while Laura came along in the 5th grade. Bobby being 5’6, even though he claims to be taller. Also being pretty fit, dirty blond hair with blue-green eyes. And Laura being 5’5, beautiful brown hair that she usually has in a ponytail. Laura is known for having the best clothing style. Always fixing herself up for mediocre events. None of us ever saw Bobby and Laura ending up together, but I guess opposites attract. Right?

“What’s going on here?” Bobby questions.

Amari gives Sam and me a look. Sam, Amari and I laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Laura asks.

“Ignore them.” Marcus says. “Now that you’re here, we can finally decide on a movie.”

“Shoot yeah!” Bobby says. “What are our options?”

“Well, Amari wants A Walk To Remember, while Jamal said that he feels like something scary.”

“Hmm? I could go for a comedy.”

“I wouldn’t mind something romantic, so I side with Amari.” Laura says.

“Alright, Sam, Violet, what about you?”

“I could go for whatever V wants.” Sam says.

“Okay. Violet. I guess you’re the tie breaker. Horror, Comedy or Romance?”

“Oh, um” I say not trying to make the wrong choice. Well, I don’t watch many scary movies so that’s out. I take a deep breath and finally say.. “Comedy?”

“Yes!” Bobby says in excitement.

“Alright, since you were the one who wanted a comedy, you can pick the movie, Bobby.” Marcus says.

“Let’s watch ‘Control’. It’s a movie about a man who inherits a remote control that allows him to control life around him. Though, he later learns that the remote gives him a power that no one should possess.”

So we watched the movie while eating pizza. Once the movie is over we all head out to the pool. As I’m about to sit down my phone begins to buzz. It’s a message from my mom.

Hey, sweetie. I’m sorry to bother you. But it’s getting late, tell your friends that you’ll talk to them tomorrow.

Just a little while longer. Please?

I’m sorry, just come home now, okay?

Ugh. Okay. On my way.

I tell Sam that I need to go home who then tells Amari who then tells her brother, Jamal. So we all say our Good-Byes. I’m the first to get dropped off. I head inside. My eyes feeling so heavy. I head upstairs to my bedroom. I don’t even take my shoes off or dress up into something more comfortable. As soon as I hit my bed, I’m out like a light, having a dream of a time when my dad wasn’t away at work.

February 18, 2014

I’m in my room, writing in my diary as usual, when someone comes knocking on my door.

“It’s unlocked.” I say.

“Valeria, I just came to see how you were doing.” My dad says as he’s standing in my doorway.

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“No reason. I just realized that you’re growing up and I feel as though I’m losing time with you.”

“Dad, I’ll always be your little girl.”

“I know. But pretty soon you’ll be married. Having babies.” My dad says with sadness in his eyes. “I just don’t wanna miss these moments.”

I give my dad a hug and I tell him. “I love you, Papi. And for as long as I live, I will always need you.”

My dad wipes a tear from his eye. “I love you too, mijita. I still remember the day you were born. I prayed all night to God hoping you wouldn’t come out like me.” My dad chuckles but I sense a little truth behind what he said.

“What do you mean? I want to be just like you!”

“No, mija.” My dad says softly. “Never try to be anybody else, always try to be yourself. A copy is worth nothing, but the original is priceless.”

My dad is a smart man, very wise in his age. My mom used to say that it’s because he’s gone through so much in his life, he had to learn the exact same lessons that he teaches me, Seb and Maya. 

“Dad?” I say as he’s about to walk out of my room.

“Yes, mija?”

“How long will you be gone this time?”

“I’m not sure. If it were up to me, I’d stay right here with you, your mom, Sebastian and Amaya.”

“Then why don’t you stay?”

“Because we need the money, mija. So I can provide for you, all of you.”

“I know. I just–” I say, feeling upset. “I miss you.”

“I know you do. And I miss you too. I love you, mijita.” My dad says as he kisses me on the forehead. “But I’ll be back in no time, okay?” 

“Will you call?”

“Of course. I’ll call every chance I get, God willing. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I love you, Violet.”

“I love you too, dad.”

Early the next morning, I wake up to my grandma and mom making breakfast.

“Mm. What smells delicious?” I say

“Just making my famous Pancakes, covered in strawberries, blueberries and bananas and drizzled in maple syrup..”

“That sounds amazing!” By now, I’m practically drowning in my own drool. “Why don’t you ever cook like this, Ma?” I tell my mom, jokingly.

“Oh hush.” She says laughing.

Just then the house phone begins to ring.

“Could you get that, dear?” My mom says.

“Sure thing” I say

It’s an unrecognized number. I pick up either way.

“Hello? Cruz residence.”

“Yes, I was told that I could find Angie Cruz at this residence.”

“May I ask who this is?”

“Yes, this is Dr. Benson.”

“Grandma!?” I yell

“Yes, Mija?”

“There’s a Dr. Benson on the phone for you?” I say concerned

There’s a look of fear in my grandma’s face that I’ve never seen before. Though, she reaches for the phone, trembling. Now I’m worried. She takes the phone to my parents’ room and closes the door. I try to listen to her conversation through the door, but it’s no use. The door is too thick. Moments later, my grandma finally comes out of the room.

“Is everything okay, grandma?” I ask

“Yes, mi vida, everything is fine.” She says but for some reason, I don’t believe her. “Let’s go enjoy those pancakes.”

We sit in silence for the next couple of minutes until Maya shouts aloud saying, “These pancakes are sooo good, grandma!”

“Thank you, mija. You know, it was your Papa Tony that taught me how to make these pancakes.”

“Really?” I say, trying to join the conversation.

“Oh yes, he loved waking up early, listening to Gospel music, reading from his Bible and making breakfast.”

“I remember helping grandpa make cookies.” I say, trying to remember him. “I miss grandpa.”

My grandpa met my grandma when they were freshman in high school. He always loved to say that she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever laid his eyes on. He was a pastor, about to retire before his sudden passing. Sadly, my grandpa passed away a couple years ago. My sister Maya is too young to remember him. Sebastian was around seven but he often says that he vaguely remembers our grandpa. My grandpa was 5’8, mexican. Brown short hair, and brown eyes. He had a smile that could light up a whole room. My grandma is 5’4, Mexican, Long white hair. Brown eyes. And the sweetest lady you’d ever meet walking down the street. I can tell that she misses my grandpa. I mean, we all do. But she knew him for most of her life. 

“I know you do, I do too.” grandma says, hiding a tear. “He loved you so much. I hope you know that.”

“I do. I would give anything to hear a preaching from him.”

“He sure did love preaching to you. You know, every preaching had a purpose.”

“Really? How does my life relate to Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt?”

“Well, let’s see. You were about 11 when he told that story. You were so full of Jesus at the time. I remember you reminded me of a younger version of him. You were upset because your friends at the time stopped talking to you because all you wanted to do was talk about Jesus.

“I remember, I came home crying because I lost all my friends.”

“Yes, your grandpa told you that story in hopes that you’d understand that Lot’s wife turned back to what she was giving up and it destroyed her. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

“Wait. He thought I’d turn into a pillar of salt?” I ask, confused.

“No.” Grandma holds back a laugh. “Lot and his wife were leaving the people they grew so accustomed to. The only thing God asked them to do was to not look back. Lot’s wife did. You lost the people in your life whom you grew accustomed to, your grandpa was teaching you to not look back because God was going to bring you through that hard time in your life.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“Your grandpa was so upset when you decided to stop going to church, and praying regularly. But, he never stopped praying for you. Until his last breath.”

Now I’m the one holding back tears. I always felt like I let my grandpa down when I stopped going to church. I guess it hurt him more than I thought. But to think that he still prayed for me?

“I didn’t mean to hurt him. I was just going through a lot at the time. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, mija. He understood. You have nothing to apologize for. But when you’re sick, do you avoid the doctor or do you trust him to heal you?”

“I trust him to heal me.”

“So then why when Jesus offers to heal your heart, do you avoid Him?”

“I don’t know. I guess, I’m scared that he’ll leave me too.”

“Oh, mija. You may have listened to your grandpa’s preachings but you didn’t understand them if you think Jesus would ever leave you. Remember, His word says in Hebrews 13:5, ‘I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”

“That was grandpa’s favorite verse.”

“Yes, yes it was. It was a reminder to him that no matter where life takes you, whichever path you decide to take, God will always be by your side.” My grandma has a twinkle in her eye as if she’s remembering my grandpa and it brings her so much joy. “Listen mija, how about this Sunday you accompany me to church?”

“I would but I kinda already made plans with Sam for this weekend.”

“Invite her, I’m sure everyone would be glad to see her.”

“Okay, I’ll ask her.”

So we finish up our breakfast. Then I run up to my room to message Sam.

Hey Sam!

Hey V!

What are you up to?

Just watching a movie.

Oh. Well I was gonna ask if you’d like to go to church with me this Sunday?

Church? Why?

My grandma wants me to go but I don’t wanna go alone. Please join me?

Okay. Okay. I guess I’ll go.

Not the reaction I expected but it’s understandable. Sam hasn’t gone to church since her mom died. I hope she didn’t feel pushed into going.