Chapter Two - Hello Sam

 Chapter Two

Hello Sam

As Saturday comes to an end, we each lay our heads down to fall asleep and we both have an unexpected course of dreams throughout the night. Strangely enough, they were different views of the same story.

August 24th, 2010

Violet:

It was my second week at a new school, I was quiet. I had no one to talk to until August 24th at recess. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I was alone, watching the other kids play. I was sad, but I didn’t tell anyone.

Sam:

I was playing with my friend Gabriel, when he noticed the new kid huddled up in the corner with this sad expression on her face. He told me to go ask her to join us; and so I did.

Violet:

I was on the verge of tears, when unexpectedly, this girl walked up to me. She asked if everything was okay, and then she proceeded to ask if I wanted to play with her.

Sam:

I asked if she was okay, she wiped the tears that were forming in her eyes and said, “Yes.” But I knew she was lying so I stayed with her a bit until finally she agreed to play with us.”

Violet:

I got up to play, she hugged me and said, “My name’s Sam. What’s yours?”

Sam:

I hugged her and introduced myself and asked for her name and she replied, “I’m Valeria. But my friends call me Violet.”

Violet:

“Nice to meet you, Violet.” She says.

Sam:

“Wanna be friends?” I say. And I see this glow in her eyes. And she’s all of a sudden so ecstatic with joy.

And just like that, it’s Sunday morning I wake up feeling nervous about going to church. What if it gives Sam painful memories of her mom? Her mom loved church. I guess so did Sam until the accident that killed her mom and made her dad grow distant.

“Valeria!” My mom yells from downstairs. “Are you ready?”

“Yes! I’m just messaging Sam to see if she’s still going.” I couldn’t wait to tell Sam about the dream I had last night.

Hey! Good Morning Sam!

Hey. Morning V

Are you ready??

Yes, I am.

Okay, we’ll pick you up on our way to church.

Okay.

Something seemed off with Sam. I don’t know if she was just tired from waking up so early, or if she wasn’t too excited about going to church. Anyways, we pick Sam up and then we drive to church. I can see by the look on Sam’s face that she’s already thinking of her mom.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask Sam. Rethinking about making her face her trauma just because I didn’t wanna come alone.

“Huh. Oh. Yes, Sorry, I was just thinking of the dream I had last night.”

“Really? I had a strange dream last night too!”

“You’ll have to tell me about it later.” Sam says.

“I will. But anyways, I know I asked you to come with me to church, but are you ready? I know you haven’t been here since.. Well, you know.”

“Yes, I’m ready. I have to do this. She’d want me to.”  

I see a tear forming in Sam’s eye, so I give her a hug and I whisper in her ear.

“You are the strongest girl I know. You can do this.”

She wipes the tear out of her eye and she gives me a look as if to say, I’m ready.

So we all get out of the car and rush inside the church where we are greeted by Pastor Isaiah.

“Michelle! Angie! How are you two doing this fine Sunday morning?”

“We’re doing great, all glory to God.” My grandma says

“Well that is fantastic!” Pastor Isaiah says as he notices Sam and me. “This must be Valeria and Samantha!”

“Hey Pastor” We both say in unison.

“You both have grown up so much! We’ve all missed you.” Neither Sam nor I know how to respond so we just smile. “Anyways, Come, Sit. The service will begin shortly.”

So we all find our seats in the back pew of the church. Once the music comes to a halt, the Pastor joins the stage.

“Thank you to our worship team for those beautiful songs about our beloved Lord and Saviour.” The Pastor takes a deep breath right before he begins his preaching. “Today, I want to talk to everybody about burdens.” He looks around to everyone in the pews. “Do you have something in your heart that God wants to heal you from?” I look at Sam to find her completely lost in the Pastor’s words. “You’d be surprised how much pain we, as humans, try to suppress. Honestly, I blame this world. We’re told that we’re to be strong, and that supposedly means that we are to hide our feelings and hold everything inside. Some of us get so used to it that we’ve unconsciously suppressed so much pain that we never truly got over.” I notice a tear forming in Sam’s eye. “The ideology that we should suppress how we feel, I believe, is the complete opposite of what God has asked of us. Jesus said to give Him our burdens and He will give us rest. He never said to hide our burdens. I truly believe that it can be very dangerous to hide our feelings.” I look around and it seems that the Pastor has everyone’s undivided attention. “For instance, I believe that the devil can and will use our suppressed feelings against us. Especially if we’ve unconsciously suppressed pain that we don’t even remember. That’s how addiction starts! That’s how unrestlessness begins! That’s how the devil plants his own demonic seed! He makes us feel so empty that we feel as though we have no other choice than to find something, anything to fill that emptiness.” I notice the Pastor looking towards Sam and me. “The Good News of Jesus Christ is that Christ came down to earth, He literally left His own throne, to die on a cross so that He could fill that emptiness. The sad news is that many of us claim to know Jesus, to love Him, to truly believe in His power, but we have not truly asked Him to save us. Jesus hung on a cross and still looked at His murderers and said, ‘I Love You.’ It’s beautiful! It’s unconditional love! He forgave us. All He asks for is our lives. Not just your happiness and joy, but your brokenness, your depression, anxiety and insecurities. He loves you so much that He died so you could live. Any suppressed pain belongs to Him. Give it to Him and He will give you rest.”

The church is filled with people crying and shouting “Amen”, while others are at the front of the church on their knees praying. The rest of the church service goes by and I can see that Sam is still thinking about that first preaching by the Pastor.

Right before church finishes, Pastor Isaiah decided to do a little altar call.

“We only have a few minutes left, before we come to a close, I would love to invite anyone up who wants to dedicate their lives to Christ or maybe it’s been awhile? Maybe your suppressed pain drew a wedge between you and our Lord? Allow us to pray for you.”

“Wanna go up there?” I whisper to Sam

She nods her head no then proceeds to say, “Can we leave now?”

“Yes, let’s go wait in the car.”

So Sam and I go to the car and I can tell that something is on Sam’s mind.

“Are you okay, Sam?” I ask

“Yeah, it was just a good sermon.”

“I know. Wanna talk about what’s been bugging you?”

Sam takes a big deep breath and finally allows herself to say. “ My dad lost his job. We’re losing our house. So we’re moving in with my uncle Sean.”

I give Sam a hug and I say, “Everything will be okay.”

“You don’t get it! My uncle Sean lives in Davis! That’s a whole hour away. New town. New school. New friends.”

I realize the situation, and I’m not ready to be that far apart from Sam. We've been inseparable since the fourth grade. Anyways, I can’t let her know that I’m scared.

“It’s okay, I’ll come visit whenever you want me to. Or you can visit me.”

“But we won’t see each other everyday.”

“I know, but that won’t change anything. You are and always will be my best friend.”

“Thank you, I needed to hear you say that.”

“So, when are you going to move?”

“A week before school starts.” Sam has this look on her face as if she just realized something. “Oh no! We won’t be graduating together.”

I hadn’t even thought about that until she mentioned it. Now I’m feeling the weight of everything happening. All I can think to do is hug Sam every chance I can before she moves.

“Maybe it’s time I tell you about the dream I had.” I say.

“Okay. What was it about.”

“You.”

“Me?” Sam looks up.

“It was the day we met.”

Sam, now looking dumbstruck, just stares at me and is finally able to say.

“That is so strange.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had a dream about that exact same moment, from my point of view.”

“That is strange.” I say, wondering if our dreams were a coincidence or something more?

So Sam and I just sit in silence for a bit waiting for my grandma and mom to leave church. But my grandma has to say bye to everyone before leaving. So we may be here awhile. After about 15 minutes of waiting, I can see my mom and grandma walking toward the car.

“Valeria. Sam.” There you both are.” My mom says. “You disappeared so suddenly. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I asked Violet if we could wait in the car.” Sam says.

“Oh. Okay. If something is wrong, you can always talk to me.”

I look at Sam to get her approval to let my mom know about her moving. And Sam nods yes.

“Sam is mo– moving.” I say, almost choking on those words.

“Oh dear. We’d hate to see you go. What happened?”

“My dad lost his job and we aren’t able to pay our bills or keep our house.”

“I’m so sorry. Where will you be going?”

“Davis.”

“Well that’s not too far, I’m sure we can take Valeria to visit. And you are more than welcomed to stay over at our place anytime you want for as long as you want.”

“Really? You’d be okay with me imposing into your house?”

“You wouldn’t be imposing, Sam, you are a part of this family.”

“Thank you.” Sam says, trying her best not to get emotional.

So we drive to our house, and as we park and all exit the vehicle, my mom says.

“You go on ahead, Valeria, I want to talk to Sam for a moment.”

“Okay, mom.” I say.

“Sam?”

“Yes?” Sam says.

“Can you look at me? Please.” Sam looks my mom in the face and then my mom continues by saying, “I don’t know what’s gonna happen next for your life. God works His miracles in His own way.” Sam has a tear rolling down her face. “We love you, Sam. You have been such a blessing to Valeria. And I know that this move affects both of you.” My mom wipes the tear from Sam’s eye. “You are so beautiful. And you are strong. If your mom were here, she’d be proud of the girl you’ve become.”

“I miss her.” Sam says, avoiding eye contact.

“We all do. She may not be here physically with us, but she’s still here. She’s living through you. Everything you are and everything you will become, it’s all because of her.”, 

Sam takes a deep breath trying to recollect herself and smiles. My mom and Sam both walk into the house.

“Is everything alright?” I ask.

“Yes.” Sam says while wiping the remainder of her tears.

“Okay.” I say, not trying to pry. “Wanna go up to my room?”

“Sure.”

So Sam and I head up to my room and after a minute of silence, Sam finally speaks.

“So about your dream.”

“What about it?”

“It was the first time we met. Right?”

“Yes, it was. I was alone, upset about starting over.”

“In my dream, I remembered my friend Gabriel pointing your way and telling me to go ask if you’d like to play with us.”

“That’s weird.” I say looking dumbfounded. “I don’t remember you having a friend named Gabriel.”

“Well, maybe you remember him by his first name?”

“What was it?”

“A–” Sam starts but pauses and smiles as if she just realized something. And she hugs me.

“What’s this for?”

“For being my friend.” Sam whispers.

“If anything, I should be the one hugging and thanking you.” I chuckle.

“Why’s that?”

“Because, Sam, you changed my life.”

August 24th, 2015

It was the end of my first day of school, Sam and I were waiting for our parents to pick us up.

“Valeria!” My mom yells.

I grab Sam by the hand and I take her to go meet my mom.

“Mom! This is my new friend, Sam.”

“Hello. Nice to meet you, Sam.” My mom says, smiling.

“Hi. Nice to meet you too.”

“Sammy?” Sam’s mom says. “Oh. There you are.”

“Hello, I’m Angie. Valeria’s mom.”

“I’m Carrie. Sam’s mom.”

My mom and Sam’s mom instantly become friends.

“Are you new to Hiram?” Sam’s mom asks.

“Yes, we moved here a couple months ago.”

“That can’t be easy for young Valeria here.”

“No, it wasn’t, at first. But today was actually her first at school and apparently she’s already made a new friend.”

Sam and I are just giggling in the background.

“Come on, now, we have to stop by the store to get some new clothes for church.” My mom tells me

Sam’s mom smiles and proceeds to ask. “What church are you attending?”

“God’s Word Speaks” My mom answers

“With Pastor Cruz?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess we’ll be seeing you Sunday.”

“You attend that church?

“Yes, every week. You’ll love it.”

“I bet we will. Anyways, we gotta get going. But we’ll see you on Sunday.”

So I’m super ecstatic to be attending the same church that Sam’s family goes to. Sunday morning I wake up early, wipe the tiredness out of my eyes. Run downstairs, my mom has breakfast ready for my dad, me and my siblings. As we all are ready to go to this new church, we gather into the car, make our way into the church parking lot. We rush out of the car, head inside and are immediately greeted by Sam’s parents, and my grandma Angie and Papa Tony.

“Jessie!” Papa Tony says, filled with joy.

“Dad, how’s your morning?”

“Very good, mijo. Carrie was just telling us about meeting Valeria and Angie. I thought those names sounded familiar.”

“I had no idea that they were related to you, Pastor Cruz.”

Papa Tony chuckles. “Why don’t you guys find a seat at the front of the church? We’ll begin shortly.”

As we begin our walk to the front of the church, a man races past us.

“Pastor, I wanted to ask you for your advice.” The man says.

“Yes, go ahead.”

“I want to join the ministry. I wanna be a Pastor.”

“Why do you want to be a Pastor?” Papa Tony says, testing the man,

“Because everyday, I see what God does to these people. I see how God uses you to speak life into these people; and I want to be a part of that.”

My Papa Tony puts his hand on this man’s shoulder and says to him.

“You are a fine young man, and I would be honored to guide you in your dream to pursue a life given to God. You will someday change lives, Isaiah.”

At the front of the church, the choir is getting into their places to begin. The music starts and eventually it all comes to an end. My Papa Tony joins the stage.

“Good Morning church.”

“Good Morning.” The whole church say in unison as if they’d been practicing all year.

 “Today, I want to talk to you about preaching the love of Jesus.” The whole congregation is so silent, you can hear a pin drop. “Rather than just preach the love of Jesus, show it. In everything you do. But showing His love is more than just being kind to people.” All around, I see people lost in my Papa Tony’s words. “It’s not preaching what someone wants to hear but rather what they need to hear. This world is so caught up on the idea that Jesus and the disciples only preached love and happiness. ‘Don’t judge’ and all this other stuff.” My Papa Tony looks toward my family. “But in reality, Jesus preached repentance overall. You see, we were all born on this long road to hell. But Jesus stepped in the way to give us a better eternity.” I see a tear forming in my Papa Tony’s eye. “Most of us are still heading towards hell but there is another way in Jesus. Sadly though, this world is so blind to the temptations of the devil that the only thing most ‘Christians’ see when they read the Gospels is ‘don’t judge’ but that’s not exactly what the bible says. If I’m correct, it actually says, ‘Judge not lest ye be judged.’ meaning, by what standards you judge you will also be judged. It tells you to fix yourself before you fix others. Which is possible. Why?” Papa Tony looks around as if looking for someone to answer. “Because our God is able to do anything.”

“Amen!” A couple people from the congregation shout.

“The Bible also mentions that we are to correct our brothers and sisters in Christ. That's not judging nor condemning, that's loving. As believers in Christ we should always leave room for correction because some of the time, we are wrong. Or we were taught wrong. I don't understand why what Jesus taught is seen by so many people, including Christians as judgmental.” Papa Tony takes a deep breath and slows down a bit. “As for unbelievers, there is no need to judge nor correct them by God's standards for John 3:18 has already stated that whoever does not believe in Jesus Christ, is already condemned.” I look around and for the first time ever, I notice some people not liking this portion of the preaching. “Anyways, we are to love one another, the same way Jesus has loved us. That means we also ought to preach repentance and hell.. Because someday we will all be face to face with our creator, do you really want to answer for all the unsaved souls that could have been saved if you just spoke Jesus' Truth?” My Papa Tony looks upset all of a sudden. “So loving one another is more than just being kind, it's introducing people to the truth, and allowing the truth to convict them of their sins. The truth is, you cannot be a sinner and still get into heaven. You may be asking then, how there are people in heaven if we're all sinners. Well, because you, and me, and everyone, we all need a Savior.” My Papa Tony pauses and then continues. “Who died on the cross so that we may be saved. Jesus' sacrifice washes away our sins. But it's more than just that.. I'm going to repeat to you what Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, "Go, and Sin No More" Jesus' perfection is enough to cleanse us of our past sins, but future sins are still there if you don't truly repent. This is the truth, love it or hate it, I'm only saying this because I love you and it is not my will that anyone should perish. So always remember, I love you, God Loves You and God Bless You!!” Papa Tony is not stunned to see the many different reactions to his preaching. Some loved it while others, not so much.

Church is about to come to an end when my Papa Tony asks for the church's attention.

“For 37 years, I’ve Pastored this church.” My Papa Tony’s voice begins to shake. “For 37 years, I’ve watched people come into the church, and play a vital role in this church or in someone’s life.” Tears are now forming. “I’ve enjoyed my time as a pastor and I love everybody here. But it is now my choice to step down from this position.” Gasps all around while others are beginning to cry. “I will continue being  your Pastor until the end of this year, and I will be choosing a suitable replacement for myself. I’ll still be attending this church, for this church and its people are and will always be my family. I love God for allowing me to be used as a vessel by Him and I know that He will use your next pastor just as much.” My Papa Tony takes a deep breath and says. “If any of you have any questions, now would be a great time to ask.”

“If I may.” One congregation member asks. “Who will you choose to replace you?”

“I have a couple people in mind. But I won’t be sure until the end of the year.”

“Why this sudden decision to retire?” A lady from the congregation asks.

“It has come to my attention that I am not doing well physically.”

“Do you care to elaborate?”

“I have Alzheimer's.” My Papa Tony says , holding back his tears as the whole congregation becomes quiet.

“You were the first friend I made when I moved here. You were there for me when my grandpa announced to the church that he had Alzheimer’s and you were there for me when he passed away.”

“He was a great man and an amazing pastor. I was upset when he passed away, so I figured that it must hurt you so much more to lose someone like him.”

“I remember visiting him the day before he passed away. The doctor said that his Alzheimer's had escalated much sooner than anticipated.” I gaze at a picture of my Papa Tony and Grandma Angie from my Papa Tony’s retirement party. “For weeks his memory was hazy. He kept calling me names from people in his past. Molly, Josephine, Frances, so many names, but he never called me by my name, for weeks, it was the same names over and over again.” I take in a deep breath. “But the night before he passed, he called me Valeria; and it felt as though for the first time in a long time, I had my grandpa back.” I feel a tear forming in my eye. “He held my hand and without a single thought he said, ‘God will never leave you, nor will He ever forsake you.’ and just like that, he was gone again.” I pause and finally end by saying. “He passed away sometime that night. The doctor said that he went peacefully in his sleep.”

“V..” Sam starts but decides to stay quiet.

 “What am I gonna do when you move?”

“You can always call, and I will always pick up.”

“I am really gonna miss you so much.”

“I’ll never forget about you.”

“What if you find a new group of friends and you replace me?”

“I would never, could never replace you, V. You’re the sister I never had.”

I smile at what Sam told me and then she tells me that she has to get home. So my mom and I give her a ride home. The day comes to an end and in no time, the summer begins to come to a close.

August 6th, 2015

Today is my last full day with Sam. She is moving tomorrow. I’m not sure I’m ready to say Good-Bye.